High school students walked into the Pelham Middle School gymnasium during the school day on Oct. 2 expecting a routine assembly. Instead, they saw “Can I Kiss You?” t-shirts and relationship advice books.
What followed was a detailed presentation by Mike Domitrz, founder of the Center for Respect and an author, on establishing relationship boundaries, understanding consent and stopping the frequent sexual and relationship abuse that occurs among teenagers and young adults.
In a program sponsored by Pelham Together, Domitrz brought an interactive and conversational approach to his message by beginning the presentation with humor. He then transitioned into the importance of consistent consent and his main topic by asking students if they would stop their friends from drunk driving. The students replied with a resounding, “Yes.”
Then, Domitrz asked if they would stop a classmate they hardly knew if they saw them supplying drinks and possibly trying to take advantage of someone else. The room went deathly silent.
His listeners were faced with understanding why sexual assault is an ongoing problem. The question left was how to solve it, and the answer was simple: by intervening.
Domitrz laid out four steps to stop dangerous situations: identifying sexual assault, understanding that it is each person’s responsibility to intervene, teaming up to check in on a person who could be taken advantage of and staying calm and focused throughout the process.
“The most important takeaway from my presentation is to know that every person deserves dignity and respect,” said Dormitrz. “For this reason, we must look out for each other and ourselves.”
To focus in on the four steps, Domitrz brought student volunteers up to the front of the gymnasium to act out realistic scenarios and end his message with clarity.
“Working with younger people has always been wonderful,” he said. “They want to do the right thing and often appreciate the opportunity to gain new skills or open a new mindset. Transformation occurs when we are willing to make minor adjustments that can create a massive impact.”
Sophomore Camille Rowe said, “It was a very productive speaking overall. I have more confidence in my dating life and relationships after the advice in the presentation. I definitely feel more confident about consent in myself, and I believe that it’s the same for others.”
“The more high schools are able to equip their students with the skills I have demonstrated, the more empowered students will become and can more confidently declare their boundaries and those of their peers,” Domitrz said.
Students exited the gymnasium smiling, despite the heavy topic they had spent the past hour discussing. They had new skills to employ and genuine feelings of hope about a distressing subject.
