On June 29, the Pelham Public Library held a “Brave Space” discussion regarding the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community in Pelham. Panelists were community members who both identify with the LGBTQ+ community and who are parents or relatives of these individuals.

The five panelists were Maurice Owen-Michaane, Darra Gordon, Mike Korn, Jim D’Sidocky, and Louise Kelly, all of whom live in Pelham with their families. They led the discussion on the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community in Pelham, also opening the discussion to the audience for questions.

The first topic of discussion was how the LGBTQ+ experience in Pelham differed from other places, the panelists moving to Pelham at different times from various different areas. A general consensus was made that while the panelists agreed in general that Pelham is a relatively accepting community, there were challenges, too. One of the panelists shared that someone had told them when they moved to Pelham that “families like that don’t belong here.”

Some panelists mentioned that they didn’t know where they fit in in different social settings and dynamics, whether familial, with friends, or when parenting. Some also brought up that certain societal assumptions were made at times from other parents or Pelham citizens, i.e. people assuming that an LGBTQ+ couple at their children’s school pickup were close friends or sisters/brothers, the couple having to correct them.

A parent of an LGBTQ+ child in Pelham said that her child had a particularly hard time in middle school, which led the parent to later advocate for the creation of a middle school GSA, or Gender and Sexuality Alliance, which is a safe, inclusive space for LGBTQ+ members and allies. While her child benefitted from the high school GSA, it didn’t solve the entire issue. The panelist said her child seemed to thrive after graduating from Pelham High School, coming back a much more confident person.

Panelists also touched on familial roles and parenting in the LGBTQ+ community, the subject of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day same-sex families coming up, and how to handle them with their kids. After discussion, many agreed that they usually like to encourage their children to celebrate how they see fit and through what feels right to them.

Other topics of the panel included  perspectives of the LGBTQ+ community with new generations, as well as promoting social and societal diversity through exposing your children to different family types.

The event was not recorded, but more information can be found on the library’s website.